


not alright

by FPwoper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Not really a happy ending sorry, SPN Ladies Bingo, Sad, therapy sessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29555934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: Lisa knows soon after the first weekend she spends with Dean Winchester that he isn’t who he says he is.SPN Ladies Bingo fill: Lisa Braeden
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester (implied) - Relationship, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12
Collections: SPN Ladies Bingo





	not alright

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the SPN Ladies Bingo: Lisa Braeden
> 
> This is a complete fic and will not be continued.  
> This has not been proofread, any mistakes are my own.

Lisa knows soon after the first weekend she spends with Dean Winchester that he isn’t who he says he is. He’s… hard around the edges, and she’s somehow managed to bind him to her. Not like she wanted that, but it happened, and so when he shows up again, beaten up both emotionally and physically, she knows he’s going to stick around longer this time.

She introduces him to Ben and watches him light up. She’s got to tell him that Ben isn’t his, but she doesn’t think it’ll make a difference. So for a while, things stay like that. But Lisa is neither blind nor stupid, so she knows that there’s something going on. It isn’t the nightmares, although they help. It’s the long stares, the zoning out, while they’re sitting on the couch, just the two of them. She’s never deluded herself into thinking this is more for him than a rebound relationship of some sort, although it might be more about a lost relationship with a brother than with a partner.

That train of thought changes when she watches Dean rake the leaves one day. She’s probably not mean to see, but there’s a flicker of… something, clearly focused on Dean, and it feels sad and lost. She’s not sure what it is, exactly, but she knows that whatever it was, _whoever_ it was, it loved Dean immensely and always put him first. She’s not surprised that Dean’s life is so full of loss, but it makes her all the more determined to take care of Dean. She doesn’t know if she loves _him_ or the stability he’s currently bringing to her and Ben’s lives, but it’s not a hardship, to care.

Lisa feels like she’s there but far away when Dean invites her onto the couch, bursts into tears, and talks about his life so far. She knows it’s not fully true – his stories are always censored somehow but truth be told, she doesn’t want the truth from him, not in this case – but she also knows that he’s never bared himself like this before, and so she listens patiently while he pours out his heart.

She cuddles up close and simply listens, and when Dean winds down and quietly, almost inaudibly, confesses that the love of his life died, and that she’s just a replacement, she doesn’t react at first. Then, she gathers him up in her arms and pulls him closer.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. He goes to protest, but she shushes him. “No, Dean. It doesn’t matter. Neither of us ever were truly in it for love, now were we? I knew when you came back that there was something else, and you probably also knew that it isn’t like that for me.”

Dean nods and sags back against her chest. “But where does that leave us?”

“Well, it leaves us right here, right now. With a few choices. You can get your ass back together and start figuring out what you want and where you want to go. That’s the first one. It’s also the hardest for you. The second is… we just keep on keeping on as we’ve been doing right now. I don’t mind that, but it might be… unkind to Ben in the long run. The third…” Lisa swallows. She doesn’t want to lose him, but it might be her one option to put it out here now. “The third option is you leave right now and don’t come back. I’ll tell Ben that something came up and that you had to go back home, or something.”

Dean nods slowly but doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t make her as nervous as she thought it would, not getting a straight answer, but it does make her feel better to get this off her chest, to know that she’s said what she set out to say.

“Is it okay if I think about it for a bit?” Dean asks, surprising her. “And keep living here, I mean. I… I don’t want to intrude too much on you and Ben, if that’s your main concern.”

“You’re very good with Ben,” Lisa says, and she means it. “So that’s not an issue, I think. And Ben knows how to deal with people leaving.” _Unfortunately_ , she thinks, but doesn’t add. There’s enough pressure on Dean as is, and he probably knows, anyway. He’s told her about how he and his brother were left often too. “Don’t stay with me just because you don’t want to abandon Ben, though. We’ll deal.”

Dean nods again, and then he kisses her briefly, on the cheek. She thinks that he’s made his decision already, but she will stay here for him as long as he wants her to. Lisa just hopes that one day, he’ll think of her and know that she tried to help him. They don’t need each other, probably aren’t good for each other, but she wants to have _helped_ him, at least.


End file.
